I had to chance to love a very beautiful girl.

I had the chance to be her best friend.

But.

I'm more or less certain the damage that i've done its enough to ruin it all the way.

Many chances.And all just gone to waste.

She was awesome.

I was just an ass.

I had the chance to love a very beautiful girl.

I had it right in my hands.

I had it.

One year. That's what it took for everything to change. I really wished that it wasn't my fault. But I guess it is. I can see the huge difference. When i'm finally gone it will just be just a simple brush of the shoulder. I've resigned to that fate then.

Right, I'm being reduced to ranting out to only this space yet again. As time ticks down to my impending departure from Singapore, I can't help to ponder over my mistakes. Mistakes that have led to me to my current predicament. As I stand by and wonder why I'm being treated differently by other people, I just have to ask myself why. I'm in frustration most of the time, i'm usually sad and moody, tired, angry and sullen-faced. Is this really me? I used to be a happy boy. I had many friends. I used to be just content with playing soccer and just having a soya bean drink after. How can I change? As of right now, the only person I need to believe in me is me. I need to bounce back.

It's not just all about the looks.

This seems to be a problem with us young kids nowadays as we truly fail to understand personalities and fall in love with it. No, we're more concerned about looks. How my boyfriend looks, is my girlfriend pretty enough for me to be cool? You know those kind of stupid questions? Here's the best part. We complain that there's no one out there who loves us. When of course,the person is standing right infront of you the whole time. Guys!Girls! Wake up!(that applies for me too) smell the body odour of those loser souls who have in them deep kind hearted exuberant persona that never fails to light up any room. It pains me to see this monstrosity continue.

My brain doesn't function properly without you.

So many things I want to say, so many things I want to do. Being free from you only makes me realize how much I'm in love with you. Yes i've done shit to you. But it's not until you lose it that you finally realize the small petty things you do that hurt that someone. To hell with all this best friend shit, for my heart knows no other than you. It's hard yes. But thats whats making everything so difficult. You say we are not meant to be together.WE ALMOST DID! But why didnt we? Because I didn't go that one short extra mile for you baby. I didn't. Imagine if I had! Imagine! Of all the things we didn't do together! I mean come on! Do you really think that you might not fall in love with me one day? I was too obsessed on being with you that i didn't do what was the most important. Loving you. That was all it took so that you would love me back. Ask yourself. Haven't you ever thought that at one small moment in your life you thought you were in love with me and you could see yourself with me? Just one small moment. I would do anything to go back to that time where wrote that post if only. Remember? i forgot to add one thing.

If only you would let me love you right.

I'm falling so hard on my face bloody hell god save me kind of love with you again just like how I was all those months ago. Oh god I'm blabbering so much. You're gone now huh. Well now only time can stop me from loving you. If only....

You are never gonna be the same are you? Right. It's a new year, I don't want to ruin this for the both of us. Bitch about me all you want if thats what I deserve. I never meant to hurt you.

Happy times will come. Sometimes we just have to wait a little longer. So just hush and smile.

Deja Vu.

If I could choose anyone in the world to relive my past year again, it would only be with you. I know I was in love with you then;still am now. Even with all the heartbreaks, I was so happy when I was with you.If ever you'll come back, i'll treat you as if im meeting you for the first time.Head over toes.

When everything finally cracked.

This really feels like shit.