Lost &! disorganiseddddd.

I'm so lost now. Maybe I should open a school for hypocrites. Right, College of heartbreakers & hypocrites. Sounds good doesn't it? It's always easy for me to say to other people.."look, don't be like this" or "it'll all be better". I'm giving advice to people when I myself am so lost beyond doubt.

I have not been fully appreciating my family and my friends. Karma, it's spanking my ass to say: "you've been a bad boy". You know what the real trick is? Its to be grateful. When you're grateful you'll cherish your life even more. When you do, you'll be happier. When you are, people will love you. No regrets, no bad karma, no hypocrisy and last but not least. No pain. This is not self discovery. Its a chapter from the book of life. One which my dear friend pointed it out to me all this while without her knowing it. But i need to get round there first. I need to get round there. I need to. For my life's sake.

All I have to do is dream.

For a few minutes, I thought you never exist. I lost faith in all of love.

I'm sorry baby.

I'm could never kid myself that you're never around.

"I need you so, that i could die, I love you so."

You're always around.

All I have to do is dream.

I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist.

Be it two years ago, yesterday or even today for that matter. I never want you to leave.

I never know if you feel the same. What it is; the sheer vast emptiness that stretches causing you to feel trapped, the numbness that shrouds your body. The inexplicable rage that engulfs your body, causing you to feel so weak and strong at the same time. I never ever want to feel that ever again. So what i'm gonna do for you,is i'm gonna stand fiercely loyal right beside you and protect you. Even if it kills me to do so. Penchant for drama, yes. But if you tried to look far beyond my words i'm trying to say something to reach out to you.

For one of those nights, many nights ago, you had me promise to us.

No matter what happens, you and I will never leave each other. Best friends.

There's something about Aaliyah Nisha.

I've treated you worse than a scumbag.
Yet you've stayed on with me.
I broke your heart one too many times.
Yet you've stayed with me.
You've made me jump with joy at the thought of you.
You've made me cringe at the thought of you.
You've evoked every single emotion that you probably can from me.
And after all that,you're still here.
I've made big mistakes with you.
So please won't you give me one more chance?
Your smile,your giggle,your laughter,the way you argue with me,the way you get angry.
I love it so much.
I don't want to lose you.
Please.Don't go.

The monster of '05.

4 years ago, it happened.

The monster devoured everything in my life. Sports, academics and social life. You name it.
Then it stopped abruptly.
Calm passed and all was good.
But everyday since then I silently prayed and hoped in fear that it will never come back.

*whispers*
It's back.

The monster is back.

The only way somebody could ever love you, is for you to love yourself.

Never ever think about what others think.
Never.

Just keep going and going. With a smile.

So now what?

I think I need to take a little break from this drama.

Today marks my first day as a CBTL barista.YAY YAY.
First full shift. 8 long hours baby!
You know after being so long out of a job, it's a little awkward if I must say.
I still prefer school.
But I could probably count the reasons why I chose to work even if you cut off nearly all my fingers.
=)

Drama Queen,out!(I meant King)

Okay. Calm down.
What I did last night, was something not many would understand.
What I did last night, was something huge.
A sacrifice if you must say.
Your feelings are more important that anyone else's.
Exasperated I am trying to convince you of my intentions.
I'll always be here for you when you need me.
Don't cry no more baby.Please.

Some things should never be repeated.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH.ALWAYS.

Okay.
New checklist.
New stuff.
New personality.
Everything new.
The past is the..fuck the past.

I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

Ill miss you
Ill kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Ill need you
Ill feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
-Adam Sandler

This is what I want us to be princess.
Together,best friends,whatever.
As long as you can be around for long to grow old with me.

like how enthusiastic you are in pursuing your love..
-Mum.

Hahah. It's just so funny sometimes.

The game's over but I'm still getting a red card.

You don't hate me.
I know you don't.
And I shall never make that mistake of assuming that as I did before.
You're tired, I'm tired.
I've hurt you so much its not funny.
All the words are dried up.
You won't listen.
Baby i'm always going to hold on to that promise we made.
That's the last promise from anyone I shall ever believe.
I know your friends think I'm the biggest asshole around.
I know your friends think I'm the worst possible candidate for you.
I've screwed up lotsa things.
This shall go down as the biggest.
If you're gonna read this,LISTEN.(OR READ)
I'm not gonna delete you off anything,nor am I gonna block you.
That's how it's gonna be.
But I shall give you your space.
Don't cry anymore.
I'm not worth your tears.


You've got yourself a break baby.

And I shall be happy too.

My princess,it all seems so different now.
I will never forget what we had though.
Seems to me that you're a very happy girl now.
I would never ever dream to get in your way.
So it shall be a compromise that I shall be happy too.
The tears are all shedding now because I can't bear to leave you.

Loves,
that crazy stalker boy who just won't leave you alone.

What's done is done.

My princess, I've realized now of what best friends should be like.
Though your heart may never be mine, you can be sure you'll always have a piece of mine with you always.
We'll start this again because I never want you to leave.
Fights are nothing. They come and go.
But what we have is something that is here to stay for a hell of a long time.
You could scream at me for the whole day.
But if you ever go, it'll be the loudest piercing scream that will shatter everything that is me.
My princess, I kneel before you humbled.
I'm just a heart yearning for love.
And to you I shall always be faithful for that is the only way my heart can find some peace.
Long live my princess; long live my best friend.

Idiot.

RULE NO 1: NEVER EVER assume things as it is.

It will only prove to you that you're the biggest idiot alive. Trust me.




I wish I was yours.

It's like we're walking on the moon.

All this time being with you it seems so surreal.
I'm already in heaven, if words really could describe how it feels to be with you.
I'm safe.

We could walk forever; walking on the moon.

Can you see us 10 years on from now?
Walking hand in hand, defying everything.
We'll go against the world baby.
I looked into your eyes yesterday, and I knew right there and then that there is no one i'd rather be with come 10-20 years. Or maybe ever.
Voluptuous women are put on this earth to mislead us from our partners, our best friends.
But lucky for me I found you.
I know it's a little too early.
But even you know how love works.
And I swear to God i'm in love with you.

Can you see us 10 years from now?

I'm crying alone, with not a shoulder in sight.
I could hear that sinking sound coupling with that odd rare loud crack coming from within.
God save me for I have lost my head.
This unimaginable pain is unbearable.

Forgive me.

When hope fails you.

I'm an irrelevant piece in this jigsaw life.

LOST.LOST.LOST.LOST.LOST.

I did a full pirouette today.
Okay good now fuck off.
I played my best ever street football today.
Okay good now fuck off.

Oh yes and by the way, nobody gives a fuck.

Good things come for those who wait.

MANCHESTER UNITED: CHAMPIONS 08/09

This may seem like a trivial matter to most.
But I know I was born to be a Scouser.
It hurts me most to know we've endured crap for 19 years and counting.
Yes. You heard me all you bloody ingrate Mancs. 19 long and painful years.
For the third year running, you have won it again. Kudos.
Lift the title high up for all of us to see.

The tears, the pain.

But we'll still walk with hope in our hearts and never walk alone.

Because I still believe.

"Many nights we pray

With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

NOW WE ARE NOT AFRAID
Although we know there's much to fear."

The title of my blog, the guide in my life.

Miracles don't always happen in anyone's life, let alone mine.
I'm on my knees. I'm on my knees. Let there be this miracle.

She's that girl.

She's crazy. She's weird. She's beautiful.

That's why I love her.

She's panicky. She's angry. She's sad.

That's why I'll never ever leave her.

Who is Sasha?

-This is the girl who gave me hope and turned my life around.

That's why I always tell her how much I love her.

To the world, you are just someone. But to someone, you are the world.

You're my world.

Today turned out to be a great day. The trick to it was love. Just plain ol' It's-the-70s-so-i'm-gonna-love-you kind of love. Just spread it all around. It'll do wonders.
Go to the nearest person and just hug him/her.
At first-(example:please DO TRY and act this at home)
You: *hug*
Him/Her: OI! Siao ah!
You: I do it 'cos you mean so much to me.
Him/Her:*smiles*
You: *smiles*

Love makes the world go round.


I wonder if she's thinking of me.

Love.

To love someone, or for someone to love you; you must learn to love yourself.
Destroying one's own self belief does not help. Neither is self pity.
Trying to be a better person is life's biggest lesson.
Just like a bad student in school, one must suffer the consequences of his/her actions after doing something wrong.
To the people i've wronged, to you that I have disappointed. I deeply apologize.
I shall not ask for your forgiveness for it is one time too many.
The least I can do is to change myself and prove to you that I can be much better than this.
Much better than this.

Actions speak louder than words.

Bonjour!

Salut! Je m'apelle Budi. Jhabite a Singapour. Jhabite dans une appartement. Je t'aime Madame.

Au Revoir!

(Macam paham!)
-No that's not french.lol.

The smell of the grass and leather.

Oh I feel it coming again.
The cheers, the roars; the passion.

The Beautiful Game.=)

"Please tell me why do birds
Sing when you're near me?
Sing when you're close to me?
They say that i'm a fool
For loving you deeply
Loving you secretly"

As the days go by, we learn.
I've learned that, even as our fates have been sealed; it does not stop love from working its magic.
I'm not going to force love.
I'm not going to think that you're not meant for me.
I pray to God and hope everyday, that you're the one He's made for me.

There is, and will only be one Aaliyah Nisha.